PHOTO: RYAN McGINLEY "BODY LOUD"
PI am in an open mountain grove, sitting underneath a tree with leaves shimmering of light … golden, topaz, sapphire and ruby shine through the green leaves, showering me underneath the bough of branches.
I'm cross-legged comfortable on soft moss, supported by the weight of the Earth and feel the light shifting down through the leaves, dancing on my skin.
At the edge of the clearing in the valley, I see her. She stands still for a moment, making eye contact with me and then she she runs, almost faster than the eye can see, back and forth through the trees at the edge of the clearing, smiling, playfully and almost teasingly as she approaches.
When she reaches me, she stands in the center of the clearing, far enough so that I can not only see her body, but also her energy field, without any details of the foreground interfering.
She bows, brings her body to the ground, touches her forehead to the Earth and outstretches her palms towards me. I realize she is making an offering to me. She is offering HERSELF to me.
Then she rises, and smiles, kindly. Her body is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She is EXQUISITE. The kind of beauty that you can't take your eyes off of. She is sensual, erotic and innocent all at once. Slender but voluptuous and strong. She lowers her golden eyes to the Earth. In one coordinated movement, her palms outstretch to the side, and with her calm steady breath, the turn down towards the Earth while simultaneously she takes her left leg, and balances the crook of her foot on the right thigh, readying her stance.
Then, when centered, she looks back up. She asks me to make eye contact. It simultaneously feels like the most easy and difficult thing I've ever done. It feels like staring your deepest desires in the eye. I feel uncertain but certain. I don't want to look but can't. In that moment I feel connected and safe.
Then the sparks start falling from her fingertips. Golden red sparks flutter down from her hands and float towards me, into my heart and then back out of it, creating a matrix of energy. The sparks are rooted in the deep red, grounding color of the first chakra, connecting me to Mama Earth and to my own heart. The matrix flows in and out of me.
The sparks weave in and out, then begin to settle around my heart. She says it is time to heal any wounds and clear any energy that needs to be moved in order for me to stand in my heart. I see the small, cavernous and dark fissures around my heart, descending towards the center of the origin of the beat. In one breath, her golden love illuminates the remaining pain and fear and trauma and the darkness disintegrates.
She stays at her distance, but dancing now, sensually, without regard. And the sparks keep pouring, and the more connected she is to the dance, the stronger the sparks of her fire flow into me.
Then a matrix then starts moving from my heart up to my crown. Wide, circling like a double helix, it rises up, clearing the energy of the mind she says, so that I can more fully connect to the rest of my being without interference from the ego.
It stays big and wide for about a minute, swirling inward and outward around my central channel, up and down from the crown to my heart. Then, from my heart the matrix extends in front and in back of my heart, a completely circular exchange.
Then it descends. Narrowly this time. With precision she says. And the matrix of swirling red and golden light coils tightly together. It descends through each of the lower chakras and pours past my pelvis and into the ground, anchoring me to Mother Earth.
This precision targets any wounds in my pelvis and connects me to Mama Earth, where Parvati says she will lovingly, like any Mother, absorb my pain and take it on as her own ... she will soak it up so it is released from me. I see the old, residual dark and stagnant energy pouring out of the base of my spine, and being funneling down into the wet clay Earth, like water going down a drain. When it is released, I feel the energy flow restored, undiluted.
Then Parvati asks me what I want.
I think - I want a divine partnership where the Divine Masculine in my partner upholds and empowers my Divine Feminine so that we can marry these two aspects within ourselves and also bring these aspects out into the world.
Yessss is I all I hear, like a whisper. That's what all conscious women want, she thinks but doesn't say aloud.
Then she says, and your creative WILL? what is your WILL? ... what are you here for? To heal I say. AND she says? To help women heal. AND? she says, forcefully. I say to help women heal and find liberation. AND? I help women re-connect to their essence. YES! she says! Annnnd? To reconnect to their own power source of feminine connection and expression. Y E S SHE SAYS.
And then it is quiet while the descending energy amplifies and pulses through my third chakra, my power source, my house of inner will and the manifestation of my outer creation in the world.
Parvati then continues to dance, and I know that there is an exquisite beat that I can't hear. The energy increases around her, swirling in geometries, directed internally and externally. Her dance feeds her own light source. She is glowing - and her source extends out, feeding mine. Her moves are slowly and deliberately. Intentionally but free.
The energy continues to spiral within me as it continues to increase within her and then she slowly stops. And with the sparks still brightly falling from her fingers, she approaches me. Again, she tells me to look into her golden luminescent eyes and as I do, she bows to her hands, joined at her heart in samastitihi. She pauses there in reverence, then continues to descend to the Earth, slowly bending her knees, bowing to the ground again as she started. Prostrate, she kisses the Earth, places her forehead on the ground and reaches her heaven facing palms towards me once again. She breathes deeply and in her exhale slowly disintegrates into unnumbered luminescent golden ruby sparks.
My experience based on the meditation outlined by Sally Kempton, author of Awakening Shakti ... a book I cannot recommend enough if you are interested in exploring the Tantric Goddesses associated with the Divine Feminine.
